2 sided

Friday, February 17, 2006


Each people have 2 different characteristic. One is what they showed to others around them, and the other is what they are actually. It's the inner self vs the outer self.

Been out whole day today. Had some time alone, and this got me thinking... about a lot of stuff.. a bout my inner self. Kinda hate it when my inner self takes control of my thoughts... it's like leading me to face the fact... i guess it's the holy spirits. My "wants".. seems to vary in the wrong direction, wrong path and crooked line. It's leading me to somewhere forbidden. Maybe that's y God decide to take control ba.. by giving me a chance to really quieten down as i pass my time walking around clementi as i was too early.

Outer self... i was the bubbly, crappy, cheerful, nonsensical, active, irritating, noisy, chatty person... Whenever i'm with friends, i would really just behave that way... At one time, i doubted myself. Is this the real me? Or is that just a way for me to be accepted in this society. But, somehow, after analysing it, i think it's just me, having fun and being the clown.

Inner self... a thinker. Someone that thinks about little little stuff. Personal stuff... love stuff... friend stuff... family stuff... room stuff... and... just stuff... anything under the sun would keep me thinking for long hours. I like to look at the sky. Look at how the clouds form shapes... look at how clouds floated carefreely... look at how blue the sky is... look at... how great it would be to be up there... wonder about... heaven... Sky is a pretty thingy to look at... At least human cant do anything to the sky. They cant create clouds (NOT SMOKE)~! It's so... natural...

My wants was what i was thinking about today. What i look for... it's wrong. no wonder god let me wait... i have to sort out everything... I have to delete my original want from my "hard disk" and input in the correct "code/want" so that my brain programme would work smoothly in the right path.

Thinking brings about awareness on yourself. It also leads u to understand more about yourself.

2/17/2006 11:52:00 PM|