Fear God

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is man's all. Ecclasiastes 12:13

Yesterday was a bad day. Was angry with dar for not msging me at all, even when he reached home. Was looking forward to his message the entire day. Was feeling lousy even when i laughed or smiled. I cant concentrate at all.

When i reached home, the chat with him started off fine, but the way he seems to diverge from the prob irritates me. I fall asleep, still feeling lousy.

At 7am, my alarm woke me up. The first thing i thought of, was him. I missed him. I'm afraid to lose him. I've immersed deeply. I don't like our quarrels. But despite all these, i can feel he still love me, and of course i love him too.

I started playing my keyboard. I love the song, "I offer my life". I felt the push to read the bible.

I searched high and low for my latest daily bread (a free publication for daily bible reading). I Found the june to august edition, and i started reading, playing my worship songs playlist on my phone.

As i read on, tears starting pouring. "Lord I need you"... the singer sang. I sang along. Emotions filled me to the brim. I can feel his hands on me.

I've placed him aside for a long time. Thinking i know all his words and teachings, i start to think less of him in my daily life. My focus was on my studies, friends, and bf. WHere's him in my life? It was found at a corner. At that moment, dar msged "I miss you". I started crying harder.

I've been leading a very non christian life. I think of the wrong stuff. And i think too much to it. God's word slapped me hard. As what i learnt from my previous cell grp meeting, "God punished us as he loves us." Internal torture. That's what i got.

I must stop all that. I need God's guidance. From now on, i'm on strict order to read his words everyday~!

I love my dar. I love my parents. I love my friends. But, i love HIM, the God, the Father, the one that never fails to punish us for our mistakes, but still love us and forgive us without reservations."I am yours,God"

10/03/2007 08:48:00 AM|