pondering...

Sunday, February 26, 2006


It's not always bad not having the car to drive for convenience.. Sometime, it can be a small blessing in disguise. A kind of blessing that some people might not think as a blessing.

What would u usually do when u're on the bus? Do self reading? Listen to music and sleep? Watching anime like what i did (n i always have to re watch because phone cant forward e anime. hehe)?

For me, after a religious sunday listening to the sermon and going for the growing strong 2 class... i got into my thinking mode on the bus. Thinking of not just myself and my problem... but everything in about me and things that i have seen and heard and relating it in God's point of view... E usual qn... y do i feel lonely? y am i leading a boring life? y did God not plant someone in my life? y am i alone?Ya.. n i know i should not be doubting God... Instead of doubting... i began to question... did God actually answered my prayer somehow, but it's just that i was too preoccupied to notice?

Preparation. That's what been going on in my life. Knowing me best, God wanted to prepare me. He knew my personality. He knew me more than i know myself. He knew what i was thinking of and of course he knew bout my desire. He knew how i would react if just some "any" guy came by. He knew what i my "hua chi" symptoms is too often and bad. He knew that i would make grave mistakes if this goes on. So, in ordered to not let temptations take over first, he prevented that from coming. Instead, he's preparing me. Knowing his words.. knowing the commandments... understanding what is going on... and knowing myself more through him. Thinking and putting thoughts into actions... that's what i need to do now.

At the growing strong class, we talked about hindrance in serving as servant.. there's this question on "how does having an attitude of humility affect how you relate to others?" and e ans quoted from Philippians 2:3-4, it would result us to consider others better than ourselves and looking only on our own interests and not that of others.

Maybe.. that's what i've been doing.. Thinking that everyone have this, but i don't have. Being envious of others knowing i'm not like that. Everything is bout comparing and wishing my desire would be fulfilled.. guess i'll have to do more reality check on myself more often.

Anyway, think i did a rather good thing today. haha. Bro called in e morning, and asked me pass msg to dad, n i asked him whether he's using the car in e morning. When he say he is... i just said ok... peaceful n no arguments... and for this, i got my "pondering" post.

Try to look out the window and look at e sky when u're on e bus next time. There might be blessings that u nv that existed. With or without religion, it could still be done. Quietened down ur heart, and talk to urself... n u'll find out more deeper info on urself.

2/26/2006 01:42:00 PM|