my expectation

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


My mood always swings alongside with the sms he sent me...

My entry lately is always about my love life. Love this and that. Argh. Boring.. but still, it's my blog. hehe. Really need a place to jot down my thoughts...

What i expected of love... getting love back. Not just one "I love you", but more than that. Not just one day when u suddenly felt u love me... but then... e next day, and e day following that, the feeling died down. I just wish for a morning sms, with "dear" included in it. I just wish for greeting sms in the afternoon, asking how my day is. I just wish for a good night sms, wishing me a good night sleep and telling me you miss me.

I've cried so many times. So many times even before we got together. So many times of heartbreak. Maybe i just wish my relationship to be the same as that of my friends. Everyone have bf pic on their phone, and yes, i have, of him alone and not us. Everyone's bf would make an effort to sms, mine only reply my sms or forward those forwarded sms. Sigh...

I've thought of it.. to not sms him at all. To not call him. Maybe.. just wait for him to sms. Even if he did sms, i shall not reply him straight. I would wait.. and see. I would not put in any "miss", "dear" or whatever in any sms. C how he'll feel. Would he feel the same way as i did? I have to start to withdraw my feelings. I have to get back to God. I have to meet him less often. I cant let myself get hurt. I must be strong. I must not be little woman! I need to be me again.

Right now, got one old old friend who .. haha.. suddenly say want date me and stuff. Weird. Haha. it's like so long nv see each other le. Then on last sunday, when i travel from one tuition to e other, i saw him lar. haha. So more pursuation of going out together. haha. Nothing better to do, i might just go out with him. Friends anyway. How i wish he'll get jealous. How i wish i can feel his love just like what i felt on "that" day. I miss e him on that day... I shall bury myself in DIP.

Hey DIP mate, throw whatever typing thingy or whatever thingy which is ok for me to do to me... i just want to be doing stuff. I have to stop my mind from thinking too much else one day my mind would burst. Thanks. And boy am i looking forward to e ktv tml after DIP. Going Sharon's house to stayover after tt. It's going to be a good Thurs.. without seeing him for 2 consecutive days...

I believe i can be happy without him... but deep down inside, i still wish we'll work out fine...

5/10/2006 10:44:00 PM|