moody

Sunday, April 15, 2007


Many thingy affects mood. It may be what you encountered, or what others feel about you which might upset you, or that your friends are feeling sad.

Guess which is it that causes me to be moody? BF once again. Sigh. He was rather moody cos of the coast guard accident. Among the 2 officers, one is his friend. Someone he worked with before. He felt sad. UPset. And moody. He's in no mood for anything.

Other than that, i felt not as happy too. Reason being, the cramp pain which refuses to leave me. Anyway, it's fine now. Just occasional headache which makes me wish to die. Argh. Once again, death topic came. I wondered, if i die, would HE be upset? He don't seem to treasure me now. He don't seem to like my company. He's always on the phone when he was with me. He seems to be drifting away. I felt sad. I cried everyday. I felt miserable. I felt discouraged. I'm there trying to make an effort, but e response i got really upset me. Sigh. Wish all would turn out well.

Felt so moody when i saw him like that. How i wish i can just stay home and cry for a day. He says i'm not understanding. I tried to lighten his burden. I sent him to work. I asked whether he needed a ride home. I tried my best to cheer him, but all i got is, "You're not being understanding. You simply don't understand my circumstances."

From tomorrow onwards, i shun sms him. I shun call him. He seems happier with his friends. He seems to laugh more on the phone. He seems to find more comfort with friend's company. Guess he'll prefer to be on the phone with his friends than with me. Me, i seemed to just add on pressure on him. I wish for release from all these. Glad there's tuition to occupy me of my time. Glad i won't be alone at work. Shall just sleep once i got home from tuition. That should stop my mind from thinking. Shall read the bible and find my peace there. I must be glad that God is always there no matter what. It's time i find him back, and not avoid him. It's time i prioritise my time. Shall slap myself awake, and stop my girlish childish crying. I must grow up~!

No mood to update photos. No mood for anything. Shall just rest my eyes. Blame myself for getting someone that likes me lesser than i love him. FOr now, i don't even know whether there is love.

Wish God would make this less painful for me. Wish i can just get over it and that everything would be fine again. That i would lose all this pms, and him, his moodiness. God would put everything in the right places. I have to trust him.