guilt

Friday, May 06, 2005


I felt so bad. So so bad. I chose a lame excuse to skip such a important meeting. I felt real real bad.

Sigh... There's kinda of some guilts i felt for this wk. Events that happened and passed. One guilt i regret, and one i don't.

I felt ... bad. Lately, i saw myself in my student. As in.. my damn it temper and every bad thing. I am supposed to go somewhere today, but i did not go as i was simply too angry with my parents. Reason being, i told them i have to reach at 8pm.. but they took their time to leave the house. I was so mad that i decided to not go. I felt bad. Because i should go. I am too immature... I did not go for my once every fortnight cell group meeting. Childish behaviour of mine~! I hate myself.

Another guilt ... was something i said to someone. It's somehow like, making a very clear break, that i sincerely don't want the relationship to happen again and again. I said ... not that nice words. I became real frank. I said sorry though.. but i have no regrets. I am very sure that i don't want to patch with my ex again and again. I have had enough. Reason to reject is because, there's too many patch break thingy. Being together again would have the same ending. Another reason being, i don't think i would be ready for relationship. Hmm.. unless it's with Christians.. which is rather hard to come by..

Shall talk a BIT about my wk. Have a busy wk. Been working at my aunt's shop for the past few days because my cousin went KL for holiday before her school starts. Special semester started too. Gonna have 5 wks of lesson. First lecture was kind of interesting. I like the feeling of being able to take notes again. I am a studious student if i find the interest in the things i am studying, provided that the teacher prove to be of much use. Hehehe..Wonder whether i'll have some new friends too. Looking forward to more of it. Meanwhile, looking for extreme part time job. Wanted to just earn some allowance. Sigh. Wanted to slack abit too. I wished to take this special sem as a special training to work hard right from the beginning. I need to work hard to achieve my goal...

How should get rid of my guilt? Time?

5/06/2005 10:42:00 PM|