COmPaRiNg~~

Wednesday, April 07, 2004


I wonder y mum gave birth to such an ugly me. I wonder y I’m born with such bad temper. I wonder y I have such bad character. I wonder y I have such bad life. I hate myself for living for so long. I hate seeing so many perfect creature around. Actually, it’s more on envy than on hatred. I envy people with good figure, great looks n excellent character.

My sec sch friend: Charlene – frank, quite cute-looking, got a good-looking bf, is so damn smart, got a lot of great friends, are popular in school n r good in all the things she do
Yixin- Has a great voice, small size, cute-looking face, a perfect friend to have n are popular among guys n gers.
Shuning – Great basketball player, great talent in music n arts, got a caring n wonderful bf, filial, understanding, fun-loving, great friend, cheerful.
I can go on n on.. n it just makes me sadder that I’m just an extra being around in Singapore.

My JC friends: Olive – chio eventhough she’s a bit plump, crappy, sociable, many guys like, popular n filial
Qianni – pretty, “on” in anything, reliable, smart, popular at workplace n school, sociable, many friends & a perfect friend.
Jilline – small size, in my pt of view, kinda gd figure, has many gd guy n ger friends, have a doting parents & smart.
Again.. I can go on n on about all the gd points of each n every of my friends. N the more I go on n on, the more I find myself useless. I see more of my bad characteristic.

I am stupid. I have to work extra hard to get average result. I am ugly. I have to go skin center n dental center to get treatment for my face, n put braces for my teeth, n in spite of all that, I still don’t look any better. I’m fat. I don’t bother to exercise. I am lazy. I always promise my dog to bring her for a walk, but I always find excuse to escape my responsibilities. I cant do anything right. I don’t know my purpose of living. I don’t have motive or aim in life. I am just living each day as it is. I am always digging for things to look forward to. Sigh..

If I’m counseling myself now, I would tell myself that there’s a lot of people doing worse than I am. Right now, what I can do is, to not think so much. I have to find something to do to stop myself from thinking too much. Pray hard that I’ll be able to do that.

4/07/2004 08:45:00 PM|