Wednesday, April 07, 2004
I wonder y mum gave birth to such an ugly me. I wonder y I’m born with such bad temper. I wonder y I have such bad character. I wonder y I have such bad life. I hate myself for living for so long. I hate seeing so many perfect creature around. Actually, it’s more on envy than on hatred. I envy people with good figure, great looks n excellent character. My sec sch friend: Charlene – frank, quite cute-looking, got a good-looking bf, is so damn smart, got a lot of great friends, are popular in school n r good in all the things she do Yixin- Has a great voice, small size, cute-looking face, a perfect friend to have n are popular among guys n gers. Shuning – Great basketball player, great talent in music n arts, got a caring n wonderful bf, filial, understanding, fun-loving, great friend, cheerful. I can go on n on.. n it just makes me sadder that I’m just an extra being around in Singapore. My JC friends: Olive – chio eventhough she’s a bit plump, crappy, sociable, many guys like, popular n filial Qianni – pretty, “on” in anything, reliable, smart, popular at workplace n school, sociable, many friends & a perfect friend. Jilline – small size, in my pt of view, kinda gd figure, has many gd guy n ger friends, have a doting parents & smart. Again.. I can go on n on about all the gd points of each n every of my friends. N the more I go on n on, the more I find myself useless. I see more of my bad characteristic. I am stupid. I have to work extra hard to get average result. I am ugly. I have to go skin center n dental center to get treatment for my face, n put braces for my teeth, n in spite of all that, I still don’t look any better. I’m fat. I don’t bother to exercise. I am lazy. I always promise my dog to bring her for a walk, but I always find excuse to escape my responsibilities. I cant do anything right. I don’t know my purpose of living. I don’t have motive or aim in life. I am just living each day as it is. I am always digging for things to look forward to. Sigh.. If I’m counseling myself now, I would tell myself that there’s a lot of people doing worse than I am. Right now, what I can do is, to not think so much. I have to find something to do to stop myself from thinking too much. Pray hard that I’ll be able to do that. |
1. To find a husband for Laffy 2. 3. To reach 58kg 4. To go holiday this year with darling 5. Wanna learn the piano, or organ at least? 6. To serve in church Benedict~~ Charlene~~ Charmain~~ Charis~~ Christine~~ Dew~~ Eileen~~ Fang Hui~~ Grace~~ Huiling~~ Jiahui~~ Jieshi~~ Jilline~~ Jun~~ Kaijing~~ Kaixin~~ Lim Yixin~~ Olive~~ Piao^yun~~ Ruiqi~~ Shirley~~ siewkim~~ Sihui~~ Sumin~~ Tingting~~ xiuling~~ yan~~ yiwei~~ Driving Lesson~~ oUtInGs~~ d|alect~~ CD~~ e mOrE e mErRiEr?!~~ tEEn cOnfiDeNtIaL~~ eNgInEeRiNg~~ rEaDiNg~~ hOlidAy~~ dEsIgN~~ |