i tried~~

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


Sometimes, unless someone mentioned out, then u would understand. N maybe get awaken, and really start to re-think the mind set stuff. The truth maybe awful to hear at first, but it'll start to make more sense as you read more into it.

Lately, since December, i've been trying to be independent. I relied on my remaining money left from my bank to spend on food, transport, and every other expences, and as expected, money run out. But because i was trying to be independent, i refused to ask my parents for money. Even if i asked, i asked them to borrow me, instead of giving me. I hanged on for a long time. N i was awaken at my bro's engagement party by my cousin through a big fight.

I was ... maybe jealous of people.. that are well off. That have parents paying for all the things they own. TO have parents that buy them stuff they so-call said they need. To have parents pay for their license and stuff. I was jealous, as i don't have that, or rather, it's i don't want to spend my parents money. I felt quite embarassed getting money from them when i'm like 19plus. I earned my own. I teach tutions and work part time for some wkend. But.. truth finally dawn on me.

HELLO.. i'm taking 8 modules this sem. If my money-making-stubborn mind carries on in function, i'll fail half of the modules i'm taking. That's not what i want for sure~!

So.. i asked my mum today, whether she can still give me allowance. I don't expect much, as i'm still teaching tution. I just wish she'll help me at least to have some saving. So far, i've got $9 in my bank. That's pathetic, and i don't wish to c that again as the months and years go by. Mum said okay to my request.

I really tried. I tried my best. But, frankly, i still cant survive without my parent's money. Maybe my cousin is rite. Maybe the amt we gave to our parents in yrs to come, would be much more than e amt they used on us. I wish.

1/11/2005 01:52:00 AM|