bored to e extreme

Saturday, May 07, 2005


Again, i question about life! The meaning of life... and The purpose of life. I hate it when i started to compare life. Maybe i'm too bored.. or rather, i'm really very bored!

I guess i should not read people's blog at all. It always let me make a comparison to my life. Me, i'm not surrounded by friends. It's been don't know how long since i last saw my friend. Eh.. i did actually, now that i've rememebered.. during GE. Saw eileen. Other than that, no friend.

I suddenly lost my purpose in life. Totally lost it. Reading of bible has turned to become like a chores. Thinking of serving the church and ending up having to go 730am service alone demoralised me. Made me wanna not serve at all. Where's all my passion? Gone done the drain.

I am at a loss. Having nothing to do. Having no where to go. Having no purpose in my day. Having nothing going on. Why am i living? I question, and i got no answer. Where is the happy-go-lucky me? Gone down the drain. My day today: Sleep, wake up, watch vcd, and slp. Again, thinking of next sem scares me too. No friend again. I'm alone once more. No kaijing, no eileen, no christian. Lecture friend: No one. Tutorial friend: No one. I know i MIGHT have new friends.. but it's only a possibilities. Where am i?

Tomorrow is gonna be another wasteful day. Going church, going tution, then back home slp. No one to spend my days with, except my soft toy. Things i'm currently enjoying to do: Read initial D comics. That's it. No more. The end.

I should be happy for my friends.. who have so many friends with them. Who have great new friends who are much closer and fun to them. The only friend i could think of is... Auntie Qi. But she gt her bf, so i cant bother her constantly. Sigh... What am i doing? I'm online everyday. Online doing nothing. MSN online, but it seems as if i'm away anyway. I got 100 plus of friends in my list, but none chatted with me. I don't know what to chat with them too, if i ever msn them. What am i thinking? I don't know. I've studied mental health, n i know the importance of a happy mind... But i just cant bring myself to brighten my own mood. What can i do? Guess it's just praying.. God is telling me something... and i don't know what it is.

The day pass by just like that...a day without purpose...

5/07/2005 06:11:00 PM|