moody

Tuesday, May 23, 2006


I had a dream. I dreamt i'm in France. I forgot the content, but i really wanted to go.

Knowing all the financial constraints and everything, i chose to go. When i came back, i have to pay back $150 per month. My time cannot be around someone anymore. I have to dedicate it to tuitions, study, and rest. No more slacking, no more sleeping of long hours. No more shopping or whatsoever until debts are cleared.

Throughout the whole day, i don't feel good. Casual msg from Ryan did not cheer me. Bored by it all. Come to think of it, he never cheers me up using sms. When with him, i'll always try to not be a boring companion, but is it me? i don't know. Not bothering much with this now. Somehow, don't wanna trouble him with my problems. Gonna handle all by myself.

I skipped church for close to a month. I've been so far away. It's wrong. I should go back. I need dedicate more time to read e bible. I started yesterday. I felt better.

Today, went to back to wire transfer e money. UOB bank left: $50. POSB:$200. More deduction would come when i pay for air ticket. Excitement? None. Moodiness: Plentiful. Felt lonely. Felt i'm all alone. Felt aimless. Felt i'm useless. I got nothing to contribute to my project.

When it comes to not having any mood, days seems so aimlessly bored.

5/23/2006 01:28:00 PM|