touched

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


No money can buy the comfort i got from family and friends.

I wasn't feeling as well half of yesterday. I went to get my stuff back from Ryan, and seeing him made me even sadder. He doesn't seem bothered about anything. SHIT~! haha. anyway, something he said kept me thinking... maybe being like that isn't that bad.

Were we together with each other because we r comfortable with one another? Is there still love? Y would he go for so many flings if there arE? What is wrong?

Hmm.. i guess partially, it's his commitment prob. And then, maybe things between us just became like that. Anyway, every girl seems to be comfortable around him. He nv tell them he had a gf. Hmm.. guess he's really not e one for me. I've been fooling myself all along... because he's simply too good. He's gd in cooking, and drawing, and really make his companion comfortable. Guess that also meant he's a FLIRT~! haha.

I'm real glad that during this period, i have my family and friends. My cousin chatted with me online, my auntie chatted me on the phone when i called my mum. My parents bought me a hi-fi set, which has the basic functions, but still, something i always wish to get. Knowing they don't really have the money, yet they still spend on me. I'm so touched.

Throughout the "attached" period, i've neglected most of my friends and my family too. I was seldom home. If i were home, i would be in the room with Ryan. I tried to associate more with his family, but not mine. Friend's group outing, i was lazy, and i always wanted to spend more time with him. Stupid. So sorry my dearest friends. I promise not to do something like that anymore.

My auntie gave me this advice: "It's not as if no one wants you. And, why worry so much? you are an undergrad~! and don't put too much into a relationship, or do too much for a guy, else he'll think u're cheap~! "

I don't say i totally agreed, but i'm real touched by her words. I'm surviving~! Don't worry. I've already started disturbing my colleage, Mr Wonka. haha. Poor him. Suffered under my brutal beating~!

Anyway, i just lost my phone AGAIN~! dunno is drop or stolen. Anyway, pls gimme ya no~! i lost e keychain bear he gave me too. Haha. and also e phone he paid 100 plus for. Glad that's a change. I felt sad at first, but guess that means a new start too. The phone which i fully paid for myself, and i love it~! hee.

Right now, i feel so free. I'm living a life of a single~! There's no love sweetness, but there's family and friendship sweetness. Guess i still prefer hanging out with friends. Entertaining, and being e target of "shooting". Hmm. I love my friends, be it guy or ger~! Maybe, i'm not cut out for love right from the start. Just maybe, i should just belong to my friends n family~! it's so much funner this way. Less sadness and disappointment. I'm adapting it. Slowly.

Dear friends, i'll be fine soon~! My crying had stopped. It's more of tears of happiness now. Knowing i have so many friends that care, although i seemed to neglect everyone. Thanks so much for still being there for me~!Thanks so much~! Oh ya, i also leave out my Laffy. Shall bring her for more walk to compensate her~! Thanks again.