on the surface

Monday, March 27, 2006


Exam is coming. I have to REMEMBER my honours is at stake! Don't want any changes... just more brainwashing.

Woke up the next day, and felt better, but not v ok. Went to tuition trying to not lose my temper. Msg him in the morning, telling him to care more for the ger as crying alone is really torturous... and he replied asking y i cry? Hmm... Christian's faith. I'm trying to fight God's Will.. knowing what he did is of the best interest for me, and not following that, i am ruining myself. I'm left with no choice after what he did, so, i'm back on the surface... trying to stay comfortable... but not wanting to come out of the sea. hehe.

Yes... exam is coming, and i don't wish for much changes in my life. Usual bible study and quiet time should remain, and i'm intending to spend more time in school. Brainwashing still in progress. I'm gonna treat him as a buddy. A friend. Really. Nothing more. I really had enough of crying. Louis made me cry so many times. I told myself nv to cry for any other guy, so i shall stick with that. No more dry eye.

I'm tired... gonna slp early tonight... and wake early~! I wanted to study. V motivated now, because there's only 2 WEEKS LEFT~!! AH~!! i did not notice time pass so fast~! I don't want C's result. I don't want to fail~! I want my 2nd upper class honours~! Hohoho~!

I'm fine again. My heart is guarded. My heart is dedicated to God. I don't want to defy him again. I know his Will would not be revealed to me, until i go through it. I shall wait for it, although in between i'll still grumble. I'm human afterall~! I shall be happy studying~!

Don't ever underestimate the power of God~!

3/27/2006 11:52:00 PM|