another chance given

Monday, January 26, 2009


Maybe all along i've been focusing too much on his bad points, just like how my friend remembers all the "aeroplane" i flew.

Last year, chinese new yr chu 1, i was in contact with steve again. We were both souls that stay home during new year. My mum went overseas, and my dad decided to drive his taxi. We were just friends.

There were happy times together. Times when we went KL without staying over, we went malaysia n stayed for a night, and we went Bintan after my taiwan trip.

Things he did for me: despite not being around for my bday and graduation, he went to shop for gifts before that, and asked his friend to pass it to me on the morning of my convocation. Bintan trip was planned by him when i was in Taiwan.

There was times when i missed him so badly when i went genting with my friends, that i got rather angry that all i can do it to call him on the phone, instead of having him there with me, unlike my friends who have their bf with them.

He was the first guy who made handicraft for me. He wrote me notes, putting them in a "photo-book" he made when he left for China. He packed my room when i went working, and before he went to school when he stayed over at my house. He'll leave behind note telling me to drink more water.

Things turned sour when money issue came into place, and it took some time before he finally changed for the better. That was the time when i got really tired. But, he really did change and start listening to reasons i tried to explain to him. It's just that, i was still feeling that he was taking me for granted.

We always have small little quarrels. Quarrel happened even when i attempted to cook for him. That was when it really pisses me off.

But, despite all that, a lot of things had happened. Last sunday, i attempted to really want a cool off.. a break.. from everything.. as i think all these may be wrong from the start.

He was very sad. He did certain things which shocked me. He brought nian huo to my house, and did not wait for me to be home as he knew i would be angry. My mum insisted him to join us in our reunion dinner, so i asked him along. Throughout the entire period when i asked him to leave me alone, he did not sms much. He only msn me. He told me he'll change. He'll listen. He'll even be receptive to my religion. He promised to certain conditions i set. He became... gentler?

I am still confused over my feelings for him. He did a lot le. He promised a lot le. I can really sense his sincerity.. but i am still searching my feelings. He is not as bad as i sound him to be... it's just that, he was "bad" for a considerable time. I was focusing a lot on his "badness". I was disappointed as i don't sense that he appreciated what i did for him.

For the patch up, other than buying nian huo, he made a note, and input in a few pics. He bought me flowers and a tortoise speaker, because i like tortoise. He wrote a 10 pages stories on how we started and the happy times we had. Certain things he mentioned was forgotten by me, but recapped.

Guess i was touched. I did not really give him enough chance to explain.. So i guess i really should give him another chance. Furthermore, my parents like him a lot. Think maybe all my ex-es set a very low standard in their heart. Wahaha. But maybe he realy shine among the rest. :) Hope that this time round, things will turn for e better. All i have to do now is to get back my feeling..

Trust is important to sustain a relationship. Attached guy can have gd ger friends, n attached ger can have gd guy friends. I just hope for trust in that.